Actionable Life Management Tips To Overcome Anxiety & Stress
Dealing With Anxiety & Stress
It’s no easy feat to deal with chronic anxiety and stress frequently during life. Within our busy modern lifestyle there are lots of different pressures. We have expectations of ourselves, and ones put on us by others around us. We have to take responsibility for a career, a home, our finances, a family, and many more aspects of life.
For many different reasons, we can end up facing chronic anxiety and stress on top of these things. This can mean it takes more effort to run our daily lives in the way we want to.
Each and every person will have their own experience with this, and it’s an entirely personal situation. However, in today’s post, I am going to share with you some actionable tips I’ve been using in the past year, that have made a huge impact in my overall mindset, and my approach in life.
I’ve never felt more in control, healthier, and I’m making better choices for my well-being, my physical health, my career, and my home life. I hope you find these tips useful and find some positive benefits enter your life by using them.
*I am not medically trained as a health care professional, doctor or similar. Please seek professional medical advice if you require support.*
Choose A Supportive, Encouraging & Positive Partner
This is really important, and something that we definitely underestimate.
In the past, I have spent my time with people that didn’t support me, help me become a better person, or make me feel safe, secure and cared for.
Making the decision to remove myself from that kind of person was a huge turning point. It was almost like I took the blinkers off and realised what I had been doing. It’s shocking to look back and think about what I put up with, for around 10 years of my dating/relationship life.
Now, I’ve got the most amazing partner, who really does give me the support and encouragement to achieve everything I want to achieve. We are building a fulfilling life in all aspects together, and it’s just a brilliant relationship.
Communication, trust, stability and personal growth are the foundation blocks to any healthy relationship. Working to find someone that provides these things to you and you for them, will be a life-changing moment. It’s 100% worth your time.
Stop Spending Time With People That Bring Negativity Into Your Life
Whilst this one is definitely a hard one, it’s by far one of the most important things you’ll ever do.
If you find that within your friends, family, or colleagues, there are certain people that leave you feeling worse than before, that leave you feeling drained, negative, upset or pushed around, then these are negative, toxic people.
Of course, this manifests when it’s on a consistent basis. We all have bad days and might have made someone feel down because of our own bad mood, but it’s about when this is happening more often than not when you spend time with someone. When it’s becoming a real issue within your relationship and you are finding yourself feeling upset, angry or negative after most interactions with that person.
Making the decision to back off from someone like that is a huge first step. There might be a lot of different things at play within this relationship, and it might take some figuring out.
Firstly, it might not feel possible/feasible to talk to the person and make them see what’s happening, but it’s definitely got to be done. They might not even realise they’re doing it (which might seem unbelievable and ignorant, but at least you’re showing them the light). Giving them the opportunity and allow them to process the way you’re feeling is important.
Explain how you feel, how you’re often left feeling a certain way after spending time with them, and discuss the attitudes, things said, and the emotions you have regarding that person.
If after this, the behaviour still continues and you feel like nothing you are saying is helping the situation, it might be all you can do to remove yourself from that person, for your own well-being and happiness.
We only have finite time on this planet, and our mindset is heavily centred around the people we spend most of our time with.
We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with – do you want this negative, toxic person to be included in that average? Probably not.
Moving away might encourage them to sort things out, but if it doesn’t, then you’re free to live your life in a positive way without them holding you back or dragging you down.
Write All The Time, Journal Your Thoughts & Get Things Out Of Your Head
Our thoughts, feelings and emotions are extremely powerful, and lead to our behaviour and the way we conduct ourselves in this world.
Most of the time, there are so many thoughts, feelings and emotions going on in our brain, and it can take over our thinking. We often get in a vicious circle of over-thinking, stressing, and ruminating about things that bother us.
Instead, take some time each day/week to get these things out of your head and onto paper. I genuinely believe that writing it out by hand is better for you than just typing it onto your phone, as it’s much more therapeutic, but whatever works best for you, as long as you’re getting it out of your head.
No one ever has to see those journals and it’s not like it’s going to be a diary and recollection of your life. So, don’t stress about what you’re writing and just let that stream of conscious get out of you! Write down the date and then just let your brain tell you what it wants to talk about.
You’ll be surprised at how much comes out and what you are thinking about!
The more you do this habit, the more benefit you’ll see. It’s a mindfulness technique, and helps clear your thoughts and give you clarity and peace to make decisions, handle situations, and control your emotions better in day to day life.
Be Honest & Say How You Really Feel About Things. Stop Enabling Bad Behaviour Around You By Keeping Quiet
Learn to be more honest with the people around you and open yourself up with your real feelings. By hiding or reducing the way we talk to people and not sharing our real emotions with people, we hinder the level of relationship you have with them.
It’s surprising how much bad behaviour we enable or allow around us, and how badly we allow people to treat us, simply because we aren’t straight up honest and tell people how we really feel.
Learning to be calm, to tell people the truth, and to be more open and forthcoming with our feelings helps us to build true connections with the people around us. Sometimes of course, you have to be careful how you handle relationships, such as with people at work, and you have to be tactful about these situations.
When it comes to friends and family, learning to say “Well, actually, it makes me feel … when you say/do … and I would prefer if …” will help people to understand better how what they say and do effects the people around them.
We cannot expect others to know how we feel. You can’t read people’s minds, and neither can they! We need to learn to be more honest, in a kind and respectful way ourselves, to help build real connections with those around us.
Expose Yourself To Challenges, Facing Your Fears & Push Yourself Out Of Your Comfort Zone
In regards to having anxiety and stress, this is one of the biggest things that I’ve done to make a change in my life.
Learning to face our fears and go through with things anyway is really the key to reducing the stress and anxiety we feel.
I’ve had various different therapies over the years, counselling and read many books on the topic, and I see anxiety as basically this:
Anxiety comes from the pathways in our brain becoming twisted when it comes to certain events/situations/people/items and we see these things as something to fear in the same way that we would fear for our lives over a tiger in the jungle coming towards us to eat us.
Learning this was a huge turning point for me, because it means that these are learned things, these are behaviours and emotions that we have developed based on things that we have seen/heard, and been exposed to as children.
If this is the case, then it means that we can ‘correct’ them, and learn new ways of dealing with things. So, by exposing ourselves to the things that make us anxious, and focusing on a positive mindset, we can begin to retrain our brains to stop seeing the situations as something that causes life-altering anxiety/panic attacks etc.
This takes time, repeated exposure of things that scare us, learning to be calm, practising self-relaxation/mindfulness and reinforcing the positive emotions around those situations, and not coming down hard on ourselves if we still struggle occasionally.
Build those positive experiences and remember that you can handle anything life throws at you.