How To Show Up Confidently For The Things That You Want
Confidence + Action = Achievement
When you want something, the key to achievement is confidence + action. By combining these two things, you’ll be able to achieve your goals with more ease. Things around you will become more accessible. Reaping the benefits of this shift in focus will be immediate!
This is because when you take action with confidence, you are allowing yourself to fail forward. This means that it won’t be perfect or amazing, certainly on the first go, but that you are allowing yourself to try. To make mistakes. And to learn the lessons.
In today’s post, I want to share some of my top tips for how to show up confidently for the things that you want. These tips are going to help you feel more resilient and help you to take the action you need to achieve your desires.
I hope you find them useful!
Create A Vision Of Your Dream Life + Be The Higher Version Of Yourself
When you think about your dream life, there will many different facets to it.
- the home you’ll live in
- the clothes you’ll wear
- the relationships you’ll have
- the time + focus you’ll possess
- the business/career you’re in
- the way you FEEL
All of these things and many more fit together to create your dream life.
Making a vision of what your dream life looks like will help you to manifest these desires. Creating a clear vision will enable you to know deeply and be able to clearly see what you’re aiming for.
This will help your confidence in your dream life, as you will have a much more tangible idea of what it looks like. Not only that, but you’ll also be able to recognise when you get there!
How To Create A Dream Life Vision Board
In my post, How To Create A Map To Your Dream Life I talk about having a spreadsheet called The Ultimate Life Wish List which is a huge part of my own vision. It is basically a list of all of the things that I am going to bring into my life. This covers all aspects of life, not just material things.
Another way that you can create a vision for your dream life is by creating a mood board.
These are either an IRL project where you take pictures and words out of magazines etc and stick them onto a sheet (which I can’t really do because I don’t buy any magazines or anything like that…). Or you can create a digital version, either on a document page or on Pinterest.
Here’s a screengrab of my Pinterest dream life mood board, which I’m obsessed with. This is an idea of what kind of thing you could create:
I use it to focus on the colours, styles and aesthetic for my dream home mostly!
How You Can Use Your Vision Board // Why They Work
Now that you know what you are aiming for, you can take the ACTION STEPS you need to take to get there. This is part of goal-setting as well. You use the dream life vision to create actionable goals that take you towards that lifestyle.
As you achieve the smaller goals within that overall lifestyle change, you become more confident in yourself. Taking that strength to all-new levels of positive reinforcement and mindset reprogramming helps you move toward those goals.
Growing that confidence in your own identity, interests and passions will come from working on it and spending time on it.
Showing Up As Your Higher Self
A huge element of creating your dream life is deciding to show up as your higher self.
This is embodying the person that you want to become, focusing on being more positive, more resilient and more confident, and doing things to help you achieve this.
Build your own routines, rituals and habits that help back up the lifestyle that you want.
If you’re looking to be a much healthier, athletic person for example, then you’ll need to start working out regularly. You’ll want to eat healthily and take good care of your physical health.
If you want to build a successful business, then you will need to create a business plan, figure out what you want your business to be centred around and then start working on building that business.
A few other tips for showing up as your higher self:
- dress for the life you want, wear clothes that make you feel empowered and align with the lifestyle you want
- learn as much as possible about your passions and interests
- stay authentic and only go after things that matter to you, rather than following the crowd
- don’t listen to negativity from others, focus on your own goals and remember that you deserve to pursue the things that matter to you
Next, let’s move onto how to look for opportunities instead of problems, and how this helps you show up confidently for the things you want.
Looking For Opportunities Instead Of Problems
When it comes to building your confidence, work on looking for opportunities rather than problems.
If you keep looking for yellow cars then you see a lot more of them, right?
Well, the same thing happens with opportunities!
The more that you focus on looking out for great opportunities, the more likely you are to come across them. Being open to trying new things will allow you to do so.
When you look for problems, you are focusing on the negative things in life, and you’re more likely to interpret things that happen in your life as problems.
All the things we face are there to teach us something. If you see the challenges as opportunities to learn, rather than as problems that you have to deal with, you’ll notice a huge change in what comes to you.
Pushing Yourself Out Of Your Comfort Zone + Going For It!
When things present themselves to you, you have to be brave and go for it! If it’s something that truly matters to you, and will benefit your life don’t be afraid.
If you give yourself complete permission to fail, to get things wrong, to feel scared and out of your depth and still go for it, you will grow beyond belief!
This is the secret to personal growth – HONESTLY, THIS IS IT.
The secret to becoming the person you’ve always dreamt of is in that detail – be brave, be scared and do it anyway.
Little sneaky point here > everyone is scared. Honestly, they are.
We all start somewhere and we all face things in life that make us feel sick with fear, that paralyse us and make our hearts thump in our chest. There will be things that make you feel like you want to run away and hide forever!
But when you don’t face them, when you stay inside your comfort zone, you reach amazing levels in your life that you never thought possible. You level up.
And there’s no magic potion here that you can take that will get you through this. All you can do is surrender yourself to the fact that you are going to be nervous or scared when facing things outside of your comfort zone.
You just have to go for it, even if it’s messy or uncomfortable. Even if you know it’s going to be crappy and need practice. Because you cannot get to the 50th amazing piece of work or attempt without the 1st crappy one!
I’ve faced things that have completely changed my life by simply deciding I would not let anxiety, fear and doubt get in my way. I was determined I was going to get what I wanted!
Even if it looks like something is completely out of your reach and that you’re going to completely f*** it up and be a complete mess, just go for it! Let your heart pound and your blood pump in your ears, let your hands sweat and decide to go for it in the face of it all.
You are going to be AMAZING, I promise you!
Work On Your Mindset + Develop Resilience
The final way to build confidence and show up for what you want today is about mindset and developing resilience.
Because confidence is rooted in the sense that things are going to work out and that’s it’s alright to make mistakes. Resilience is the knowledge that you can make it through and have an inner strength that gets you through hard times.
These two things work hand in hand to help you achieve the things you want.
Your mindset and your attitude towards things make the difference when it comes to your confidence to show up. When you feel stronger and more resilient then the confidence comes with it.
There are a few different things that you can do to help build a stronger, more resilient mindset.
Journal + Identify Thought-Processes
By regularly writing down your thoughts and feelings you will begin to notice what thought-processes you have.
Having a deeper understanding of yourself will lead you to feel much more certain within yourself and build on your sense of self-assurance just naturally.
I love just getting my thoughts down, especially when I’m feeling low and struggling. I get to see the patterns and understand that stories that I tell myself. It’s so interesting! And it helps me to learn about who I am.
As you may know, the basis for self-improvement is all about self-reflection and being able to review your life and move forward from a place of understanding.
Journalling helps you to get that understanding of things going on in your head!
Ah, you know I love a good positive affirmation!
This is something I talk about a lot, but I genuinely use these every single day in my own life and they WORK.
I’ve noticed that when I have a negative thought or something happens around me that makes me feel a certain type of way, my brain training kicks in and I immediately get the positive reinforcements.
Whether it’s reminding myself I am strong and capable or whether it’s I am safe and accepted, or any other kind of positive affirmation that I need in the moment, they’re coming to me without consciously drawing on them.
I’ve talked more about positive affirmations in my post 4 Ways To Go From A Scarcity To An Abundance Mindset if you want to read more about them.
But basically, write up a list of positive “I am…” statements and reinforce them daily, all the time. Have them written down, pin them to your fridge, your mirror, in your phone. Tell yourself them out loud, in the car, as you go to sleep.
Over time, you’ll feel them deeper in your heart and they’ll become your natural go to a lot more often.
Of course, you can’t completely remove negative emotions. And you should allow yourself to feel negative emotions such as sadness and anger because you cannot just delete emotions!
But the key here is not to dwell on them. Allow yourself to feel, to deal with and to give honour to your emotions for your life, and then find the way to move forward.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post and found some useful tips to help you show up confidently for what you want. By combining these techniques together you will see results!
Just to share a little about my situation and where this advice is coming from. I’ve dealt with anxiety since I was at primary school, I was always shy and had issues with constantly being upset and feeling sick. I was diagnosed with anxiety and stress when I was a teenager, as I had refused to talk to anyone about it properly for years.
I’ve had struggles with travel anxiety, work anxiety and social anxiety. I’ve been on anti-depressants and I’ve spent time in therapy and counselling to help me manage panic attacks and avoidance behaviour.
Over the years, I’ve learnt a lot about ways to grow, ways to help myself deal with these things. I’m not one to wallow and I don’t say this for sympathy or anything like that. It’s more because I want you to see what I’ve faced and why I give the advice I do.
Through the above techniques, and others, I’ve got so far past anxiety and achieved many things that I never thought would be possible. I gave up smoking after 12 years, my biggest crutch. I completed a panel interview in front of senior management and directors, doing a presentation and getting the promotion. I drive around the country for work, without fear or stress which would have once been an impossible thought. I’ve flown to different countries and had amazing experiences.
Again, this isn’t to brag but to show you what you can achieve if you decide what you want and make a change.
Take the action, push yourself and see what you can achieve!
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